We’ve all seen the advertisements, a search for a couple willing to abandon all modern luxuries to live a modest life for one summer. An offer of a summer looking after a tiny Irish Island and cafe. Sleeping under the stars with no other inhabitants, no electricity, and no internet. The owners of this island were shocked to find their inbox flooded with thousands of offers. Candidates were not looking for a salary or big payout. No, people are looking for the experience these days. Disconnect. Peace. Tranquility. The simple life.
Look no further. You no longer need to travel to a deserted island to tick isolation and disconnect off your bucket list. Afraid of travelling by boat? No worries. We are in lockdown. Drive, walk or cycle on over, self isolate for 2 weeks. Then experience the joys of isolation from a house complete with a kitchen that we can rename to complete your experience. Let’s call it a “cafe” here on out. The cafe guests will become familiar to you, a 7 year old and 3 year old twins. No worries of what type of tourist the next boat sails in. Our cafe has electricity but to be honest I can cut that right off for you if you prefer. The guests live quite happily on breakfast cereals, sandwiches, and sliced fruit. Oh and ice cream. Crap we’ll have to sort out a freezer, perhaps ignore the electrical component here. You’ll need all the ice cream you can serve.
The Island advertisment asks job seekers to commit to a few simple tasks and chores for the tourist’s nightly stays in small cottages; greeting guests, cafe services, general inquiries, changing accomodation bedding and cleaning. You’ll be a B&B operator with the promise of peace, groceries, and sightings of wildlife.
Well we have it all here. A few simple chores, mainly repetitive tasks, like picking up shoes, cups, toys, articles of clothing, continuously. All day. Laundry is ongoing, all day, everyday. Think of all this repetition as meditation, without the quiet or solitude of mediation, or the peace or tranquility. Okay scrap the meditation aspect. The wildlife is plentiful. Observe the fierce roars and piercing cries of three year old’s communicating and often battling right in front of your very eyes. Every day. Learn their hunger cues and stay safe. Keep the sandwiches coming. Don’t be afraid to feed our wildlife, repetitively. All day. Treats in the form of ice cream often buy you time. Study their feeding habits, write of your findings. Hypothesize how lockdown increases childhood appetites and feeding frequencies dramatically.
Our internet is shocking, so unless you’re sitting next to the modem you can experience the technological disconnect of island life. You WILL need to sit next to the modem to receive weekly homework assignments. Spend each morning convincing a seven year old this is school, and convincing yourself that tomorrow you will cover a full days school work.
Await the weekly shop. This won’t come by boat, sorry, perhaps you were looking forward to the dramatic anticipation as the boat docks in the bay. But you can sit back and watch a car or van arrive full of groceries, complete with stories of the shop experience and life out there. We’ll take your requests, stock you with whatever chocolate, crisps, toilet roll, or alcohol you require.
You can lounge around in whatever yoga pants or Birkenstocks you wish. Feel your roots, no not your Irish roots, rock those grey roots and uncut hairstyles. Go wild, go barefoot. Feel the grass and driveway gravel beneath your feet. Sing songs. Bring your guitar. The neighbors wont mind a bit; more than likely you’ll be a welcome change from the sounds of “the wheels on the bus,” fighting children and a Mother’s desperate pleas.
We have no waterfront or famous marine life. But we DO have a paddling pool and cows nearby.
Sorry, we have no rustic 18th century cottages for you to sleep, but we do have a guest bedroom. Actually the kids have a pretty cool rocket ship play tent we can pitch in the garden. We’ll place it far from the modem… sorted. Light a fire out there, knock your socks off.
I’ll be checking my inbox throughout the day, can’t wait to hear from you. Sorry islands, I fear you have a bit of competition this year. 🤣 The reality? We just can’t wait to get back out there. The Blasket Islands, what an amazing place…. Til then, be well friends!